Christmas Miracles...

Hello All!

So, I haven't posted in awhile, because I have been updating things mainly through Facebook and in person. However, I decided it was time to catch this blog up tonight! 8) Since the last time I wrote, we had our first transfer with this set of embryos. Sadly, we did not get pregnant this time. We did not get the Christmas miracle we were expecting. After this failed transfer, my doctor called and discussed all the details of this transfer..and the upcoming plan. He reviewed our embryos, and then brought up discussing future possibilities. At this time, things like gestational carriers, future decisions...etc came up. Ultimately, our doctor felt that there might be something else going on with me. So....just as with everything else...we have to take this journey one step at a time. This was a bit shocking, because this was the first time my body responded so well to the medications, and I didn't have to go an extra week. So, at this time, the next step is a biopsy (no...nothing to do with cancer...so don't worry). It will help (hopefully) to give a clearer picture of what might be going on. My doctor has always covered all the bases...so this is just one more step to making sure my body is as ready as possible to carry these babies. However, during this process...it did make me face the fact that there might be a wrench thrown into my plans. What do you mean at this point there might be an issue with me carrying? Ahhhhhhhhhh....the frustration was acute. My heart was breaking. I shared my heart and asked for prayers as this news was being processed. It was making me face the fact that this might be our last round...things might not happen the way I was expecting....I might have to give up my dreams. Then....my Christmas miracle happened. God showed up. He showed He still cares about the details, our hearts, these babies. Ultimately, He provided a peace that reminds me He knows all the details of this process...He loves us, our little tots, and everyone involved in this process. Things might end up looking a little different than I thought, or not...but He is moving us along in our journey and is with us every step. Your prayers have been part of that. So for now things have not really changed...except God is working in our hearts. What you can be praying for is that we get some answers that will be helpful in our process, and would be able to be easily fixed to proceed on. You can also be praying for our babies that they would tolerate the defrosting process and be active, vibrant embryos that are ready to snuggle into their new home. Most importantly, you can pray for us to be faithful to God on behalf of these babies, that we would make the best decisions for them as their parents. The praise and the Christmas miracle here is that He is bringing peace to this journey. May the Lord continue to preform miracles on our journey...Thank you for continuing on this journey with us!

Andy, Kristyn and our Tots

The Stork Is Coming....Well...Sort of :)

Hello All,

I will make this a quick update...but wanted to share some GREAT news! Went for my doctors appointment and things looked GREAT! We were given the go ahead for a December 1st transfer! This is very exciting because I have always needed another week of medications. Also...our babies are traveling through the night and should be delivered to our clinic tomorrow. PLEASE pray for the safe travel of this VERY precious cargo. We are so grateful for your prayers and joining us in this wild ride of a journey. We will be praying too as we await "The Stork" to arrive tomorrow;).


Humbly,
Andy, Kristyn and our All of our Tots

On the MOVE!

Hello All!

I just heard from Cryoport (our embryo transportation company), and both labs have communicated and hey have arranged for the embryos to arrive in Dallas on Tuesday! Please pray for our four precious embryos that they would tolerate the transportation and get nestled in well at our clinic. This is a HUGE prayer request for our donor family and for us to see these embryos get transported well. Everyone has worked so hard on this, and was are so grateful for everyone who has coordinated this precious moment. We already care so much for our embryos.  At this point our transfer date will be December 1st. Please continue your prayers that my body continues to respond to the medications also, and that we will be ready! Thank you for joining us in prayer. We love you all.

With much Love,
Andy, Kristyn and ALL of our Tots

Our Journey Begins Again...

Hello All,

I know many of you already know...but for those who mainly follow our blog, here it is. Our baseline ultrasound went well today! We were given the go ahead to begin meds! Yay! We are still waiting on our little tots to get here...but things are in progress. Not a long post tonight...but so many good steps. Please pray that my body responds to the medications well. Ahhhhh...on the journey again!

Grace and Peace to you All!

Kristyn and Andy (And all of our Tots)

Our Christmas Gift...

Hello All,

So it is with great joy that we are excited to share that we have a tentative date for our next embryo transfer....December 1st! Each of our embryos are a special gift...and this Christmas we have been given the gift to begin again. We would appreciate your prayers over these embryos, and all the details that go into this process. Please continue to pray for safe transport, and that these embryos would thaw well! This will not be a long post, but just wanted to share with those who do not know! 8)

Also, I please continue to keep us in your prayers and in mind as we hit different "milestones" we would have had with Adi. We are doing well, truly...but this would have been the time for baby showers, and getting prepared, and ultimately our February due date, so your prayers are appreciated.

We love you all!

Grace and Peace,

Kristyn, Andy and All of Our Tots!!

WE have NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello All

Well...as you know this year has been a roller coaster of  ups and downs. We have had the joy of finding out my body could get pregnant, we have been through loss, we have gained VERY special people in our lives....and we have been given the opportunity to become parents....TWICE!!!!! Andy and I would love to share with you this evening that our adoption of FOUR precious embryos has become official!!! We are so excited and look forward to seeing what God will do with this. One thing that we have learned through this journey is that EVERYTHING has been worth it. We have been given and entrusted with such precious gifts, and rejoice in the opportunity that has been given to us to hopefully bring these children into the world. So...here is how you can be praying for us in the now. These babies will be transported to our clinic...please pray for their safe transport AND that they survive the thawing process. This process will begin soon....so PLEASE keep these precious embryos in your prayers. Also, please continue to pray that my body carries these babies well. This is how you can join us on this journey. We love all of you...and thank you for following our tots' journey. All of them, from the beginning. We will keep you updated...but are beyond ecstatic about this next step.  

Grace and Peace to you All!

Andy and Kristyn (and all of our tots)

In Christ Alone...My Hope is Found

Hello All,
Just a little update from the Johnson Clan. Things are moving along well with our adoption...and we are so excited. There are so many things to be praying for at this time...and we will get to that. However, at this time...a friend shared on their Facebook page the song "In Christ Alone". This got me thinking that with EVERYTHING that is going on...that my hope is in Him. Not to get distracted by the details (which is my tendency). Always a good reminder (which I need often). 8)

So...part of that is surrendering all the worries to God in prayer. Again, that is why we ask you to join us in prayer. Specifically at this time we would appreciate your prayer as the agreement moves towards being finalized, we are making preparations for the transportation of these precious embryos. THIS IS HUGE! Please pray for the safe transportation of these little "tots", please pray for all the details; storage, transportation safety, and proper handling of our precious cargo. Also, please continue to pray that my body would remain healthy and be able to carry well these precious babies. That is where we are right now. As always....Thank YOU for traveling this road with us! We appreciate your prayers! Many blessings to you all!

With much Hope,

The Johnson's 

A heart of Thankfulness, Hope...and Un-ending Gratefulness...

Hello All,

Today is a bit of a different post. It has been something on my heart that I have been mulling around in my head for weeks. As many of you have followed our journey...you know that we are in the process of our second embryo adoption. We are so excited...but I wanted to take a moment for thankfulness...for hope...and to express a heart of gratefulness that I don't ever feel like I can fully express. I want to express this heart to our donors. We have been blessed not just once, but twice with a great match...and two families who are giving us the chance to be parents. This brings tears of happiness to my eyes and my heart. We have been given the opportunity to experience a pregnancy, to get that first positive pregnancy test...and hopefully to have more children brought into our family, all because of the gracious donation of embryos. Andy and I do not take this lightly...but realize what a special gift we have been given. Oh my goodness...words fail me...but what I guess I am trying to express is not only is embryo donation such a precious gift, but when God brings people together, it is such a special and beautiful thing. We have two precious donating families who have given us the most precious gift we could think of...and we are SO blessed to have them in our lives! You give us hope! You have given us a chance. 8) We love you!


In hopeful anticipation,

Kristyn 

Big Day...

Hello All,

Tomorrow is a BIG day!! Tomorrow we will find out if we can move forward with our adoption. Andy and I are so excited!! Really...everything is looking good...but we just have to get the "go ahead" from my doctor. 8) However....one BIG prayer request for tomorrow is that my scope goes well. I am not anticipating anything different. We did just do this a few months ago. However, it is our first scope since our miscarriage...and my doctor just wants to make sure everything is looking good. I always hold my breath a little bit (just natural on this journey ;). I would continue to ask for your prayers over the details tomorrow....and that Lord willing we will be able to begin the process of welcoming these precious gifts (embryos) into our family. We are so very grateful to even have this opportunity. We thank you for all your prayers.

Kristyn 

Continuing the Journey...

Hello Everyone! 8)

So...I am so excited to just share with you that things are going well this week so far. Today my clinic   was able to get some information they needed to continue to the next step of our process. Yay! I will continue to rejoice at each little step! At this time, now my Dr. has the info he needs and has asked me to come in for another Hysteroscopy. My doctor had mentioned doing this after our miscarriage, but wasn't sure exactly when that was going to happen. Please pray that everything looks good. As you know...there is no reason that it shouldn't....we just did this not even 4 months ago....however...I do not take anything for granted. 8) My doctor likes to be very through...and for this I am grateful. So not a lot to share today...but things are moving. We love you all...and please continue to keep us in your prayers. 

A hopeful family,

K

Oh, the Joy....

Y'all...as you have travelled this journey with us, we have boldly shared with you our hopes, disappointments, joys and heart ache...all with the hope of showing that God cares about His children through every bit of it. We just want to let you guys know that God is moving in a very special and beautiful way as He is weaving this story together. I will not share specifics at this time (as I need to ask permission first), however, we would like you to know that we are in the process of another embryo adoption. We would appreciate your prayers as we work out all the little details of the process. Please pray for these precious embryos. One of the big prayer request is for the safety of their transportation to our clinic, that they would be safe and protected well. Please rejoice with us, and the donor family over the beautiful tapestry of a story that God is weaving together. We thank you for your prayers, and are so excited about this next step. 8) Thank you for always grieving with us in the pain, and celebrating with us in the JOY!!

With excitement and hope!

Andy and Kristyn 

A Change in Scenery....

Y'all...this is just to let you know...that I NEEDED something a bit more cheery for my blog template. YAY!!! The other one was meant to show the hard difficult mountain we climb on this journey. I think we GOT that loud and clear! This journey also has much beauty and there can be LIFE in it! Therefore...as of today...I am making this rather needed change! 8) Love to you all!

-K

Preparing the Mommy Heart in Me....Whatever Road that May Be

Hello All,

I will get the basic update out of the way first...as I know you are all waiting with bated breath. ;) I did hear back from our coordinator for our embryo adoption and there is really no new news at this time. We are waiting for paper work to be returned and labs to be done for the prospective donor families...so essentially we wait. I am so grateful to know where we are and although waiting is not easy...I am confident things are moving as they should be...and God's timing is perfect. So I would continue to ask for your prayers for the potential donor families, and for a great match. We are SO thankful for all of you joining us in praying for this process...because this is just as important as any other in the entire journey. We know what a blessing it is to have a great donor family...and we know that this piece is SO very important to our hopeful family. So this is where we are in the process for now.

So as we wait...the Lord has really began to nudge my heart to use this time well. I will be honest...I do NOT wait well...and (ahem...Yes...I know I have said that before!) can be a little impatient (Andy?...Care to add anything here;). I have been struggling with this "waiting period" as an inconvenience. However, I feel like I am being prodded to use this time well. Ok.....Lord...How?? To be honest...when you are struggling with infertility, and awaiting what will happen...you can feel like you are in a very big "No Man's Land".  I don't want this time to go by in vain. I don't want to look back at this time and realized I could have been using it for other things. So...I feel like God is asking me to use the gifts and talents He has given me. Wow! I don't know if you know this...but going through infertility...you can feel like you are "broken"..especially when your body is the one that is having difficulties. You can feel like you do not have much to contribute (let me be clear...there is no one in my life who has said anything to make me feel that way)...and all that is a LIE straight out of the pit of hell. It's like I am being encouraged to remember the beautiful, creative and special person God has created me to be. (I am just getting real here about some of the difficulties on this journey). So...there are a couple things that I feel God might be pulling me toward...but what I do know is that God wants to breath life into this soul and others who are traveling or have traveled this road. He wants to bring healing to the hearts and lives of those affected by the difficult circumstances of life. Sometimes this means pushing us out of our comfort zone. So, after a few brief chats with people I feel like I am being pulled back into my photography (novice). My heart is to use this mainly for families, families in waiting, and families who have experienced loss. Also, maybe to begin working on a devotional specifically geared toward those who are mothers in waiting (no matter what that looks like). Anyway...we will see what happens with all of this. I am sharing this so that you all can be praying with me as I walk this road. I am a mother whose heart needs to be prepared, to be made ready for her family, and who needs and desires to continue this journey well.

Thank you for allowing me the precious opportunity to share my heart....

Kristyn 8)

Pushed and Prodded....LOL!

Ok...well...sort of. So this morning for some reason I couldn't sleep. This is funny because...apparently I was fast asleep on the couch. My husband got me to bed and I slept for awhile. Then about 1 am I was wide awake...until about 3am....for no reason. The only thing that I could think of was that we had a healing service at church today...and I should probably go. Ok...where did THAT come from??? Seriously, THAT is what is keeping me up??? So I wrestled back and forth about going...and then decided that if I was awaken at this time of morning...I should probably do it. Maybe...ya know...God is prodding my heart or something. As soon as that decision was made...I went right back to sleep. Ok......then it is time to wake up. I get up and do my normal thing and go exercise (trying to forget the whole time that I am suppose to go to the service). As I am still fighting back and forth the whole time (because for some reason I didn't want to go...why, I don't know)...I told Andy that I was suppose to go to the service, and we could do lunch after. So....off I went.

So what does my priest talk about? It was about the parable where the master gives his workers a denari for their tasks for the day. Toward the end of the day, the master hires more workers and gives them the same amount...which makes the original workers angry, because they had worked the whole day for the same amount. The master did not cheat them out of anything...that was what they had agreed upon, he was gracious and fulfilled his promise to all his workers, and provided graciously for them all. My priest then begins to talk about our attitude, when things seem unfair...but God gives graciously to us all. I totally saw my self as one of the early workers who would have thought it wasn't fair that those who worked an hour got the same as the ones who worked all day.....and that's when it hit me...I was meant to be there.

Let me bring it around to how it hit me. As you all know, our journey has not been easy...and it is no secret that I have had difficulties with my attitude at certain times during this process. Being brought to the healing service this morning...I thought I was being drawn there for my infertility issues (which I did pray about), or our future children (which I also prayed about)....but what was glaringly apparent...was that I have felt slighted by God. I have felt robbed...and THAT is what has needed healing. This deep part of my soul needs to be touched and healed and I can NOT judge how God decides to express His generosity towards us or anyone else...because even though I did not realize it...He is doing that for me and Andy. He has NOT robbed us. He has been faithful. He will continue to be faithful. This journey is so much bigger than I realized. He wants ALL of me. So....that is where things are today. I hope that this makes sense in some sort of way.

We thank you as always for your prayers as we wait for our match.

Grace and Peace to you all,

Kristyn

Autoimmune testing...And the Official Negative Pregnancy Test

Hello All,

There still isn't much new news these days. However, at our follow-up meeting with our doctor...we decided to run a LOT of blood test to check and see if I had any autoimmune issues going on. I had to wait until today to get the test done after our miscarriage...so the day is finally here. I am sharing this with you so that y'all can be praying. My prayer is that if there are any "extra" underlying issues...that they would be discovered....and that if they are discovered, they are problems that CAN be "fixed". Also....today is the day that should be the "official" negative pregnancy test. At our last appointment my pregnancy hormones were still in my system (which is normal)....and finally they should be back to zero. That is a weird feeling to have it take almost two months to return your body to a "non" pregnant state.
Thank you to all of you who are following our journey. We appreciate and value your prayers so much! Also...we continue to pray that my body would be able to successfully carry a pregnancy, as we look forward to another embryo adoption.....and I promise...we will share when that match happens! 8)  We love you all very much!

Oh! I forgot to mention that they allowed me to go back to my previous birth control pills...so that is a PRAISE!! 8) I am feeling so much better!

Many Blessings to you All!

Kristyn 

The Good, The Bad...and the Low Estrogen BC pills

Well Everyone,

As always...I have shared everything along this journey. So, although there is not any further news at this point regarding our next adoption...there are definitely things to pray for (of course...that being one of them for sure). After our last follow up with our doctor, he changed my birth control to a low estrogen bc. This is because it would hopefully be better for long term use and prevent long term consequences. Well...apparently my body does not like this type of bc. So the prayer requests is that we would be able to find the right one that would not mess with my body like this. This is going to be huge moving forward...so I would just appreciate your prayers for this from the bottom of my heart. Thank you all so much! 8)

Much Love,

Kristyn 

The Road Ahead....

Hello All,

Where to start...I guess I can begin with the fact that we had a follow up appointment with our Dr. today. I have been so nervous about what his feedback was going to be after our miscarriage...and the look on his face when we first started talking...well...I was convinced that we were done with this part of the journey (thankfully it was just his focus on reviewing the results).
After reviewing all the information there is no way to tell exactly what happened. The embryos looked good. Things with my uterus looked good... So what does that all mean??? Well...because things looked so good he is willing to support us going through another embryo adoption. This is good news at this point. However, we have some work to do. They would usually wait until after we had multiple miscarriages before doing a work up for any autoimmune/immunity issues. However, as we don't have the luxury of multiple attempts on our own...we are going to go ahead with lab work and do a biopsy to make sure that there are no autoimmune issues lurking in the back round, or any unseen issues with my uterus while we await another match.

We also had a great conversation with our coordinator...and she was able to help us with information on some of our different options. The good news is that we are at the top of the list....so this may happen faster than we think. She also helped us think through possibilities two or three steps ahead of where we are right now...which is helpful for me as we process this.

All in all our appointment was very good...and productive. However, I will be asking you all to join us in prayer as another match is made...and the process continues. We have traveled so far...and I know God has a plan for ALL of this, but it can be emotionally exhausting. We have been given the precious gift of being parents to two beautiful embryos, and gone through so much to be here...but there are still unknowns and hills to climb.

As always...I have tried to be transparent with this journey...and I will continue to do so. It is very hard to admit this...but I have started to struggle with some "woe is me" moments. Someone graciously and with much care pointed out that I might be struggling with jealousy. But you know what...they were right. I wish that I didn't have all the uphill battles with my body that I apparently have, I wish things were easier....but you know what, don't we all? We all have things in our life that cause difficulties. We may be asked by God to wait...and trust. My flesh does not want to do that at times...and it kicks and screams when things are more difficult than they should be. But this I know for sure...EVERY time this has happened in my life...it has been for the best. There has been a bigger purpose in it...and one day....it will all make sense. I know when that day comes, you will all rejoice with us about the child/children that God brings into our family! I am holding on to hope in the midst of the unknown. I am holding onto the hope that God does care and knows the depths of our journey and is not absent in it. Please pray that God would give me/us peace in the waiting...and that He would be preparing our hearts to be the parents He wants us to be.

Grace and Peace to You All,

Kristyn 

Next Steps...and A LOT of GRACE

Hello All,

So I never know when I will be compelled to write, or what I will be compelled to write about. Well, tonight is no different. As you know...there are times on this journey that we may have news...and times we may not....For now there is not a lot of news...but something we would like to share with you.

After our loss, we decided to name our baby. We chose the name "Adi", which means "precious" or "jewel" in Hebrew. For Andy and I, this was such a special and meaningful way to recognize our precious baby. We have shared this with our donor family and close friends and family, but thought it was time to share it with you. It has been such a blessing to our hearts.

We would also like to share how gracious God has been to us during the last couple of weeks, and that by His grace we are doing well....and have been shown love SO well. We are continuing to heal, grow and look forward to the future....which leads me to the next little bit of news....

We have taken our next step and requested to become embryo recipients again! At this time we are also open to other forms of adoption....and are in the process of just being open to all options God may have for us. We still feel that embryo adoption and the possibility of carrying our child is the direction we are being guided to for now...but are trying to have open hearts. Please continue to pray as we continue on this journey. We will have a follow up appointment on July 14th to discuss the miscarriage with our doctor, and this will be a BIG guiding point. We ask for prayer for guidance and wisdom for our team. We would also humbly ask for your prayers of a wonderful match for embryos. I will be honest, this is a very emotional request as I can not imagine a better match than the one we had. We were blessed beyond measure with a wonderful donor family and embryos...and this is such a huge gift in an open embryo adoption.

Thank you so much for traveling with us on this journey. We feel your prayers...and love. We are so thankful for the gifts we have been given. We will cherish them always, and continue to look forward to the future. We look forward in hope!

Living in Hope,

Kristyn and Andy

Grace for the Journey

Hello All,

This has been a difficult week. Although this is true...and I know that it will take time to process the grief...this is not what this post is about. This post is just to simply request your prayer for decisions in the days, weeks and months to come. This journey is not over...but we have no idea what the next steps are. We need and want God to make this very clear, just as he has at each step. Please pray for our doctors, coordinator, and Andy and I as we have discussions coming up. Our hearts long for a child/children...but we don't know what this might look like. Please pray for continued grace on the journey...that is all we ask. We appreciate all of you and will keep you in the loop. As for now...I expect there to be a time of silence as we may not have direction for awhile. Your prayers are not in vain...they are felt. So for now we live. For now we hope in a plan greater than ours. For now we wait on the Lord.

Grace and Peace,

Andy and Kristyn 

Our Precious Baby

Hello All,

Andy and I just wanted you to know that we lost our precious baby last night at  5 weeks 4days. We confirmed by ultra sound this am. We are going to take time to grieve and process what next steps might be. We would appreciate your prayers during this time. May we continue to see the goodness of God through this. What we have been given is time to grieve...time to mourn our loss....please pray that we do that well.  We love you all!

Andy and Kristyn

Our Wild Ride

Hello All,

I was really not expecting to send out another update....but here it is. Our Wild Ride. So we ended up back at the doctor today. The good news at the moment that I can take heart in is that we have not miscarried at this time. The bad news is that I have been diagnosed with a sub-chorionic hemorrhage. This can resolve on it's own...but the potential issue is that if it gets really large, it can increase chance of miscarriage or impede the growth of the baby. Please pray that this issue is able to resolve in the best of ways. Please pray that the baby remains healthy, continues to grow well, and that Andy and I will have peace during this roller coaster. The last few days have been intense for sure. I will need to take good care of the baby and me for now. We appreciate and welcome your prayers as always.

With much Love,

Andy, Kristyn and Tot

A Tot-ally Good Update!!

Hello All,

So after our scare this past weekend, I was able to go in for blood work today (which had already been planned). My numbers came back today at 19,910!! This is pretty good for 5weeks 3days along. I am praising the Lord, because we really thought we lost our Tot this weekend...and that was scary. We are so grateful, but realizing this whole process is a continual surrender. Parents...I don't know how you do it!!! LOL! Anyway, we still appreciate your prayers...we apparently are going to need it with this Tot, because he/she is already giving us a heart attack (which I understand is also normal ;). Thank you all so much for traveling this road with us. Our labs are done for now...and now we just wait for our next ultrasound (which looks like it might be on 7/8). Yay!!! Wow!

With much Thanksgiving,

Andy, Kristyn and Tot

A Scary Morning...

Hello All,

So yesterday and early morning have been quite eventful. I will keep things appropriate for this blog...but needless to say, yesterday started out concerning, and early this morning went to scary for our Tot (an it's parents). Needless to say, my doctors office was able to get me in this morning and do an ultrasound. Looks like Tot is still sticking around which is a huge praise. However, what we do know for sure at this time is that there is ONE Tot...and it is still with us. Whew! Please continue to pray for our Tot that it would continue to grow well...and not scare it's mommy and daddy so much. So now...I am ordered to kick my feet up and stay on the couch for now.

Grace and Peace,

Kristyn

Numbers are rising!!!!

Hello All!!

So yesterday we had our second round of lab work done for our tot! It was suppose to rise to at least 1500 or above....and our levels was 2871!!!! Oh my goodness! We are so thankful that our tot is doing well so far!! Yay!! Our next round of lab work will be 6/22....! We are so grateful to God for this little blessing! This is all good news so far!!! I am also in the process of getting all my appointments set up with my OB/Cardiologist/High Risk Pregnancy/Endocrine doctors! So far...things are going well with that as well. Andy, Tot and I continue to appreciate your prayers for continued healthy growth/development and pregnancy! Thank you for traveling with us on this exciting journey!!

Grace and Peace to you All!

Andy, Kristyn and Tot

We are PREGNANT!!!

Wow! It still feels surreal...but these are the words that my heart has longed to write for so very long. Andy and I are pleased to let all of you know that officially today...we are PREGNANT! My Beta test came in at 387 which is the possibility of twins...but more likely a really strong singleton. YAY!! We are so very blessed to have so many of you praying with us, traveling with us, journeying with us through this process....we could not have been here had it not been carried by your prayers, support, understanding and love. Our biggest prayer for today was that no matter what...we would be able to see the goodness of God. Indeed He has answered that prayer.

As you all know...there is still a long journey to travel yet...and we are so excited to take this next step. Please pray for the growth and health of this precious life growing inside of me. Please pray for my body to tolerate this pregnancy without complication...and that my health will remain well during this process. In the next week, I will be having blood work to make sure the baby is growing/developing well. Also, I will be followed closely by my awesome team of doctors as we take this journey step by step. Please pray for their wisdom and guidance as they help guide my care. Please pray for Andy...as he takes on a pregnant wife....LOL!

We Praise God with the Bad News....and we Praise God with the GOOD news! Today we rejoice. May God's grace and peace be with you. May you be able to see His goodness today!


With much love...and overflowing hearts,

The Johnson Family ;)

Thankfulness....

Hello All!

So this journey is so crazy. Due to the ups and downs, it is so easy to focus on the negative, and lose all the positive things that have happened. Although I can't go in to EVERY detail of all the AWESOME things that have happened on our journey....here are just some from the last few days. Firstly, Huge praise that we were able to continue on and have this opportunity with Tot #2. Also, as we were preparing to go into this round, we got the go ahead to use "embryo glue" which helps the embryo "stick".  (Yay!)
Secondly, we were waiting with great anticipation to hear if our Tot #2 had survived the thaw (which is of course a big deal). Things were running a bit behind that morning...and to be honest...we were getting nervous. However, when the Embryologist came in, she notified us that she had preformed a procedure called Assisted Hatching (which helps the embryo come out of the "shell"). This is usually another extra cost...but it was not for us that day. We have no doubt our doctor, clinic staff, nurses, and everyone involved have done EVERYTHING possible to help us on this journey. We could not be more grateful for their care and compassion.
Also, we have been prayed for, cheered on and supported by so many of you...and for this we truly appreciate it more than you all could ever know. One precious moment was also getting a texts and e-mail from our donor family this week also cheering us on (Amazing!). You need to know how much each one of your prayers and encouragements mean to us. We ask that you would keep them coming over the next 9 days as we await to hear if this Tot "stuck" or not. 8)
I just had to share just some of the things we are thankful for!! Thanks Be To God!!!

Grace and Peace to you ALL!!
Kristyn 8)

And we are on!!

Hello All,

So I would like to share the good news for today!! My doctor's office called this afternoon and we are on for our second embryo transfer on June 3rd! I was not where I thought I would be in the preparation process, but my doctor feels that we should continue on, and I will trust his guidance in this!
We would appreciate your prayers at this time though, because honestly, we are tired. This journey can be exhausting at times, and this is one of them. Andy and I had a great weekend away over Memorial Day (which was GREAT and much needed). We are doing our best to be taking care of ourselves physically, mentally and spiritually, but we just ask for your prayers. This whole journey is about being honest about where we are, and there it is. Please pray for our little Tot#2 as we prepare for this second round and that my body would be at the precise place it needs to be to allow this child to grow well. We are fighting fears that this round might not be successful, and we would appreciate your prayers for peace as we surrender those fears to God. It's really hard not to be discouraged over the little things after all the amazing hurdles we have gone through to get here. Please pray that we would rest in the One who is in control! Blessings to you all.


Grace and Peace,

Kristyn

Tot #2...For This Child I (We) Prayed

Hello All,

Well...I went to the doctor again today and everything is looking great! My doctor is doing things a little differently with my medications this time, and we will be waiting another week to do the Frozen Embryo Transfer, which will be June 3! I am so very thankful that things are going well...but to those of you who have ridden this roller coaster with us, there is still a long way to go. We did get the go ahead to use something called "embryo glue" this time. I have also have proceeded with trying acupuncture as a conjunctive therapy for this go around. However, with these minor changes the most important thing we can be doing, and we ask from you all is prayer. Again, we ask for prayer that Tot#2 thaws well! My heart also wants to pray for good implantation and a healthy pregnancy (which I do pray for) but also that the Lord's will be done. That our hearts would submit to His will. That we would remember that He does care for us in the midst of it all. So we pray in hope for this child. For this journey. We are so thankful to all of you! For this child (these children) we have all prayed!

Grace and Peace,

Kristyn and Andy

A heart of Thankfulness...

Hello All,

As you know, this journey is filled with all sorts of twists and turns (Whew!). So, last week at my follow up appointment from our failed Frozen Embryo Transfer we reviewed everything. Ultimately, everything looked GREAT! The embryo looked great! Everything on my end looked great. We did end up making a small change in medications to add a low dose daily aspirin, but kept everything else the same. However, my doctor wanted to do another scope, just to make SURE that there were no other overt issues going on that could be a problem. I have to be honest with you...I was so worried that my body was misbehaving, and that polyps or scar tissue was back or causing a problem. Well, today was the day...and everything looked GREAT! I have one tiny small polyp tucked up and away on my left side, but my doctor does not think we need to do anything, and that it is NOT a problem! Other than that...everything was beautiful! Praise God! So as my doctor and I continued to discuss other details of my care...at the end I asked him if there was ANYTHING else I could be doing to help. His answer was simply "Pray". I can not tell you how much I appreciated that. I am so grateful for my doctor and his team....more than I could express. This journey is by no means easy, and having been blessed with such an amazing team is such a gift from God. So, I am insisting y'all once again to pray for our precious embryo, that it would thaw well and grow. Also, for my body, that it would be receptive to the precious embryo and carry it well. We have already begun the next round of meds and are looking tentatively at a May 26th transfer date. We thank you all for traveling this journey with us, and look forward to seeing what happens with this precious little Tot #2.  Blessings to you ALL!

Grace and Peace to you All,

Kristyn 

The Good News/The Bad News

Well....this journey is filled with all kinds of good news and bad news. By now, we have become use to this. So the good news is I had a follow up with my doctor and had repeat scans today, which showed we could begin meds for our second go around. Yay! This is good news. So we are continuing on at this time. The bad news (which I guess is not really bad news) is that I have bought myself another hystroscopy next week. My doctor wants to take one more look and make SURE that there is nothing else going on that would be overtly causing an issue with implantation. So...I guess I change my mind...that is actually good news. My doctor is awesome and being proactive! So I would appreciate your prayers that there would be no new surprises, and that if there are any issues, that they would be easily fixed (preferably...there would be no new issues ;). We will go ahead now and in list your prayers again for our Tot #2 that it would thaw well...and that my body would behave itself and accept this new little life. 8) I also got a very good report from my Endocrine doctor and my diabetes is being well controlled. So...many praises for today! Thanks for traveling this road with us!


Grace and Peace,

Kristyn 

Next Steps....

Hello All,

Andy and I want to thank you for your support and prayers; we have been blown away. We are doing well, and looking forward to next steps.

So I already have an appointment with the doctor on Wednesday for a consult and follow up (which is normal at this point). I am looking forward to hearing what he says and what are our next steps might be. We would appreciate your prayers for guidance as we proceed forward. Thank you so very much! 

Is He safe...No...but He is GOOD!

Hello All,

Many of you know by now that our results for Tot #1 were negative. Our precious embryo did not make it. The hardest part of my day besides getting the news, was having to tell the donor family. However, they were so gracious and grieve for us. For that and for them we are ever grateful.
Andy and I want you to know how much your prayers and support have meant to us, and as promised we will share the joys and the pains of this journey as always. Here is the reason. Life is not perfect...and there will be times that we will encounter pain. Deep pain; and God is still good. I have always tried to protect myself from pain and hurt and in the course of maturing in faith and life I have realized that I can not. We can not protect ourselves from the hard, difficult things of this world. And God is still there. I always thought that He would protect me from the hurt...but no...He is WITH me in the hurt. This life that He has called us to is by no means safe...but in the end...He is GOOD. We don't know the end of our story. We don't know what child or children God will provide for our home, if any. But at the end of today...we can say Blessed Be His Name. May our feelings never be the anchor by which we see truth.

Grace and Peace to you All!

Andy and Kristyn Johnson

Tomorrow is the Day...

Hello All,

Well this has truly been a crazy week...for REAL! 8) I will let you know that it has been taxing on so many levels. However, tomorrow is the day. Primarily, I would ask for your prayers for grace and peace...and at the end of the day we would say "Blessed be Your Name"; no matter what. That we may remember that God is good, no matter what. That the Lord has a plan, no matter what. 

We so appreciate all of you who have traveled this road with us (and the road is not done yet ;), and from the beginning we have tried to be transparent on every level. Doing this with people has been a tremendous gift, and the best blessing ever. This is the reason that we will share with you (one way or the other) the results of this part of the journey tomorrow. If we hide the bad and only share the good, then we are not being authentic. So tomorrow we appreciate your prayers, that we would trust who God is and what He is doing with this journey. Thank you all in advance!

Grace and Peace to you All!

Kristyn 

The Wait.....

Hello All!!

Andy and I are SO excited to share that our Tot#1 thawed well! We thank ALL of you for your prayers! We are VERY excited about that. Also, our transfer went well. Now....we wait. Still with all of this we have a 25% chance of a viable pregnancy...but God is still the God of miracles; now it is just continuing the journey of patience. We would invite you all to continue praying with us that this little one would attach and grow well. Either way...the Lord is still Lord and we will share with you the outcome. Please pray for peace, calm and trust during this time, and we rejoice with what God has done so far!

Grace and Peace to you all!

Kristyn 

All Systems GO!!

So here we are!!! Just got the call from the doctor.....and we are a GO for Tuesday for the embryo transfer! We will get to meet our little Tot #1. Andy and I are so excited and grateful to get to this point! Please pray for us as we enter this next step that our baby would thaw well. Please pray that my body would be receptive....and that we would grow our little baby well! Thankful for God's goodness! Thank you all for continuing to travel this unique and wild ride of a journey with us! Grace and Peace to you all!

Kristyn

A Lady (Family) in Waiting....

Hello All,

So I went for my ultrasound yesterday, and things are looking pretty good! Yea! The only thing that was decided was that I will need another week and an increase in meds to get me where I need to be. This is not bad (and not unexpected), but it does push our Embryo Transfer date to the 4/21. This causes us to miss a badly needed trip home. However, it does allow Andy to make his very important ordination interview (which is on the 14th), and then get to go with me on the 21st!! Also, it backs me up to having time already off of work, so I can rest and take care of myself without stress. I am so excited that God has worked out all the details! We can't wait to meet our little Tater Tot #1 on the 21st, and praying that God's will be done in all of this. May He give us grace and peace each step of the way! Thanks for all of your prayers, and please continue to pray that 1) The our Tater Tot #1 thaws well. 2) That we would be able to have a healthy baby/pregnancy. 3) For my health in the midst of it all. We know that the odds are small, but God can do miracles! He has brought us here for a reason, and I can't wait to see what it is!

Grace and Peace to you ALL!

Kristyn

The Time Has Come!!!

Oh my goodness!!!

So, I went in for my ultrasound on Monday, and it looked GREAT!!!! So, we have begun meds and will be going in for a follow up ultrasound around April 8th, and then our Embryo will be transferred (hopefully) on April 14th!! We are so excited, but we covet your prayers that the medications would work, that the embryo would "defrost" well, and that the baby would grow. We are so excited and grateful for this opportunity, and looking forward to see the story that is unfolding. We thank the Lord for every step that has happened, and thank you for following us on this journey. The journey is definitely not over...but just beginning! 

Up...

Ok. One of my favorite movies is a little one called "Up". Other than being a cute cartoon movie...it means so much more to me. This movie touches on the issues of infertility, love, lost dreams, and life in such a beautiful way (and with a tad of awesome humor). As Andy and I have been going though our journey that the Lord has laid before us, it is so easy to get caught up in the details...but here is the thing this movie reminds me of...God is writing a beautiful story. Every time I see "UP" this idea is impressed upon my heart. Our lives may not turn out exactly like we had planned or hoped. However, He is unfolding a beautiful plan even if we can't see it. This is such a good reminder for me, because I want to know everything. Now. I can't wait to see the story that He is unfolding for Andy and I, and what He has in store. Lord, May my heart continue to trust You, the One who is trustworthy! For now, I will rejoice that we have been given the precious gift of our embryos; our children. The future of all of it is up to Him;  I need not worry, because I am not the one in control. 8)

Grace and Peace,

Kristyn 

Spring...a time for New Beginnings

Hello All,

We are getting so close to our Frozen Embryo Transfer...and so many thoughts and feelings are going through my mind. I am so excited, nervous, anxious...and through this time of Lent...I have had to encounter these emotions. It has been such a great time (not easy, but needed)...but as I think of this next step...getting close to Easter...it makes me think of new life...renewal! Looking back at Christmas...it was the time for Advent...the waiting and anticipation of what was to come. Lent has been a time of contemplation, pondering, and focusing on the work the Lord is doing in me and around me...cleaning house per se. As we head toward our Embryo Transfer (around Easter time)...I feel that the timing could not be better. Lord, with your help, prepare our hearts as we prepare for the possibility of new life! This continues to be a sanctifying journey...and with God's help...we will soon be parents.

Inching Closer....

So each step of the way on this journey has had it's "hold your breath and see what God will do" moments. We have passed SO many of them...and for this we are VERY thankful. So it looks like (Lord willing and body cooperating) that we will do our Frosty Baby transfer (Frozen Embryo Transfer) in a few weeks. Here are the big prayer requests for this step. Please pray that the embryo defrosts well. Some embryos do not make it through the defrosting process, and we only have two. This will be one more BIG praise if the embryo is able to defrost well (we are doing one at a time). And the second is that the embryo would stick...and grow and become a healthy baby! We are so close, but still need all of your prayers. Please join us on this next exciting step. We love our babies so much already!

Our Adoption is Final!

Hello All!

So as of today, Andy and I are the parents of two little precious embryos! God is so very good! We are so excited to share this with you, and can not wait to continue the journey. Our next step is continue with the doctor and hopefully get pregnant! We look forward to seeing what the Lord will do. Thank you for continuing on this journey with us, and for keeping us in your prayers

Matched, Accepted...and now to the Lawyers!

Hello All!

So, as you know, we received our match at the end of January for our embryo adoption. We were so happy, but did not know exactly what to expect next. We received information from the donor family, and then in turn had to present a bio and picture of us. We had to officially say, "yes", and then in turn the donor family had to approve of us (which we did not know at that time). Today we were informed that apparently they accepted us, and that our information has now been sent to the lawyer to officially complete the agreement for the adoption. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! Thank you for all your prayers! Please continue to lift us up in prayer as we complete this adoption, and hopefully become pregnant. Please also pray for these precious embryos and for my body during this process, that a pregnancy would occur and that I would be able to carry the child well. We are thrilled and overwhelmed at the same time...and we couldn't be happier! Grace and Peace to you all!

Our Adoption begins....

Hello All! I am so excited to share with you all that today we got the call that we have been matched with our embryos! Andy and I are so joyful and excited that the next step in the process has happened!! We will be figuring out over the next little bit how the next stage works, but it is here! We  thank God so much for His goodness and we ask all of you to be praying as we enter into this next step. We are so excited and just can not contain it! Thank you so very much for walking with us. As tomorrow is my birthday...this is pretty much the BEST birthday present EVER!

Waiting and Anticipation...

Hello All...Happy New Year! Wow...2015! I hope that your holidays were wonderful....and now...we begin returning to reality. I figured it was the right time to update on our journey. Really, there is nothing incredibly new at the moment...just learning how to wait...have patience...and enjoy the anticipation. I have never been really good at waiting...but I am learning to take joy in the waiting. So, we are continuing our journey with the embryo adoption, and we are still waiting for a match. It is exciting to see what God will do with this time....this BIG unknown. Anyone who knows me understands that I LOVE to have all the little details in place and know what is going on. In this case...none of that can happen. Each step of the way will have it's challenges...and waiting...and waiting, etc. We continue to pray for peace during this time...and for a great match. So...I will keep things updated as we wait. Grace and Peace to you all!